DebbieL 9 years ago

Susan - thanks for explaining anticipatory grief. In two words you've summed up what I've been experiencing over the last year, since we learnt my husband's cancer couldn't be cured.  Sometimes I feel so guilty for finding myself thinking about what will happen in the future. Your advice to give yourself permission to look after yourself is really true - I've found it gives me the energy/resolve to be strong for my husband, myself and our family on most days, and helps me accept there will be other days when it's ok to have a good cry.

CLB69 9 years ago

I wonder if you could help me please. I am an expat living in Switzerland and have had to recently had to relocate to France to look after my mum - also expat. I'm finding it tough - I can do strong. But my girls and husband are 12 hours away by rail or air. I don't know anyone in the village where my mum lives (I do speak French).. She has a couple of friends who pop around occasionally, other than that we don't get out as she is on intravenous food. Does anyone have any advice they can offer...x

CLB69 9 years ago

Oh gosh ... Have I put this in the wrong place?!!!! So so sorry DebbieL ... Hope you are ok xxxx

DebbieL 9 years ago

Hi CLB69. I'm sending you a big hug for everything you're doing for your Mum. I think being a carer gives us reserves of strength we didn't know we had sometimes.  When I've had wobbles, I've found that having friends at the end of an email or phone really helps - their words of care and encouragement can help you get through a tough day - they're probably just waiting for you to ask and would love to help you. Could you Skype or FaceTime your husband and/or girls? My son is in Canada but being able to Skype with him has been a huge source of comfort and love.  I hope this helps.  Keep going - you're being an inspiration to everyone around you.